ghosts n stuff
by thir13enth
Summary: Something seems off about Leaf, and Green digs deeper to investigate.  Surprise pairing?


**Perhaps a bit OOC, and some personalities a bit exaggerated.**

**Well this is more or less a crack fic anyway.**

**I guess credits for dividers and the title goes to deadmau5.**

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><p>Green had always been curious about Leaf.<p>

She was a mystery to him, to put it short, as open as a book to read with all her flirtatious winks and rather loud obnoxious and uncensored voice, yet he found something to gnaw on that got stuck between his teeth about her. Something under her skin that her bubbly façade covered.

Sometimes he'd ask others about her, but his interrogations never seemed to go the right way.

**its been so long ive been out of my body with you**

"Look there goes that bunny," Blue remarked.

Green turned his slim frame around to catch a glimpse of the flamboyantly bright white hat that sat on chestnut hair and covered the bare shoulders of a rather provocative outfit but did nothing to cover the fair legs of the rest of the girl.

"Ah," Green said, unable to say much else.

They watched her giggle around and make small talk a bit here and there before Green continued their silenced conversation.

"Where'd she come from anyway?"

Blue turned his head, giving Green a languid look. "You actually interested in her?"

"No, no, she's the farthest—"

"Admit it."

"No! Why would I even think about a whore like her? I'd never bring myself down to that level!"

Blue didn't seem to buy it.

"I don't know where she came from either. She just popped up one day in Pallet Town, didn't she?"

Before Green could nod in agreement, Blue shrugged, "You have a point though."

"What are you talking about?"

"They all blow the same anyway," Blue smirked.

**i feel alone feel at home feel like nothing is true**

After trials like those, Green guessed that no one else but him suspected anything facetious, but he assumed it was because the others were too stupid and naïve to see past her shallow personality. Only Green would remain wary of her, knowing that she was probably just acting like a tramp when she had some tricks up her sleeve, and he made it his resolution to get to the bottom of it all.

Then everyone would go back to him and thank him for what an insightful person he was, and give him the attention that he rightfully deserved. That is, the _good _sort of attention with direct smiles and thank you's, not the other sort of attention that the happy whore received through embarrassed side glances and behind-the-back pointing.

Yeah, he'd get more attention than even that bastard Red, that 'quiet and stoic hero.'

He disliked Red more than he disliked Leaf, and one of his greatest desires was to punch that kid's face in to wipe the hidden smirk off his 'humble face.'

**you take me to a place where my senses gave way**

"Quit playing your damn act!" Green once spat at him when Red passed right by him without any acknowledgement to the rival who stood there, fuming in green envy.

So what if Red beat Green to the punch and came home the winner? Damn it, the people of Pallet Town had no clue who the _real _deserving one was; they just kept praising Red like he was the best out of the two of them!

Red actually stopped for once, turning his head toward Green. The rivals locked eyes, and Green suddenly felt his resolve weaken.

He covered it with an accusation.

"I know you better than that! You just won because you pushed me down behind you after I helped to pick you up!" Green snarled.

Red's eyes shimmered in what Green interpreted as a challenge, as if Red was retorting silently that unfortunately, _no one _knew what happened back there for Green to make a case.

Red reaffirmed his superiority with a flick of his cap and a turn of his head, the bastard continued to walk on, leaving Green behind, simmering in fury.

"And they call _me _the arrogant one!" Green cursed after Red's departure.

**turn it round shut it down what the people say**

But Red wasn't the problem right now; Green would deal with him later.

Right now, it was Green's chance to prove that he was worth something, definitely smarter and more cunning than Red, because Red seemed to be completely fine with Leaf and didn't waste words on her.

Green wasn't going to waste anything on Leaf either.

And Blue was damn wrong when he asked whether Green was interested in Leaf. Why would Green like a girl like that? He was so much better than that.

They just didn't understand. No one understood that Green was just trying to uncover Leaf for all a person that she was.

But not literally.

That was just disgusting.

She'd probably been all over the place; Green didn't want to see dirty skin that a good percent of the world had already witnessed…especially wherever the hell she came from.

**climbing up coming down gonna give you some**

"Hey youuuu!" a female voice called.

Green obligingly turned around. Probably some stranger or a tourist or something.

"Yes?" he asked, spinning around, but his voice caught in his throat when seeing the girl the voice was attached to.

Blue sky eyes on sun-kissed skin shaded by a white perfectly poised hat that held back strands of dark brown hair. Small pink glossed lips and a button nose to match the 'kawaii' type outfit she wore, a red wristband on her right arm and tight fitting white tank top that allowed his descending eyes to carve down her waist and trail off the short lightly pleated miniskirt. That was a lot more leg than he had ever seen on a girl, and the messenger bag she carried was positioned intentionally between two perky breasts that appeared to resist gravity, which protruded even further because of the way she was standing. Straight out of the magazine cover shoot.

"Heyyyy!" she drawled out the syllable and stepped two more closer to Green.

Green felt himself step backward one, turning his right defensive side toward this stranger.

"Ohhhh, don't be afraid of me!" she continued, catching up to his retreat. "I'm Leaf! I'm new around here! What's your name?"

"Green," he stiffly said, holding himself still, as this Leaf girl was intruding in his personal space.

"Oh, Green, how nice to meet you!" she exclaimed, giving a coy smile and running one hand down from his left shoulder all the way down to his abdomen, a light brush that was bit too intrusive for his liking. Green became a bit edgy.

Who the hell was she? What right did she have…touching him?

She giggled suddenly. "Oi! You have muscle down there!" She put her hands up at her mouth in a fake blush, and then used her right hand to poke his stomach once more.

"Get—" but Green kept his tongue down with his teeth and just stepped back instead.

"Someone's touchy!" she said, sticking her tongue out at him. "Oh well, that will change in time, right?"

And she winked.

**take my hand and let it come let it come let it**

She fucking _winked _at him.

As if he would fall for some lowly feminine charm like that!

He decided he'd look out for her right then and there.

For some reason, he thought of her like some kind of soul eater almost. Something straight out of science fiction. A ghost, a phantom, something, something that wrapped themselves in thin sheets to appear as one thing but rather be something super crazy underneath.

Oh no, being a flirt was just the surface.

She wasn't just a whore.

She was a dangerous whore.

And no one saw that but Green.

**take it back when she knows that youre doing it right**

Green only stalked Leaf when he happened to be where she was.

Usually she came out around the time Green was finished training his pokémon—yeah, he was still training them in hopes that one day Red would haphazardly drag Green into a battle and then Green would kick Red's ass and reclaim victory for himself even though he didn't go through the journey faster or more successfully than did Red. (He came back just a _day _after Red! Why was Red considered the best one around? Oh wait, it was because Red didn't have the 'sore loser' attitude that Green was very often accused of…even by his closest friends!)—and going home to eat dinner or something.

Green would see her strutting around with some of the other girls that wanted to be as pretty as Leaf (well, okay, yes, she was pretty, Green had to admit). She'd give tell them stories of dating and guys that probably never really happened in life.

Sometimes it at times like those when Green realized that his logic was flawed.

If she was a whore like how he hated, then why did he keep thinking that she never actually had those guys and those dates, why did he keep thinking that she was really just a poseur whore when he avoided her like she was a real one?

He refused to be confused by himself and let the thoughts go.

Whatever. She was a whore.

His logic was undeniable. There was no flaw in it.

But anyways, he had to figure her out. Green would turn the corner and pretend to be hanging out on the front of his porch, sipping on some water and staring blankly out in the middle of nowhere, and he'd pretend he was occupied with some typing on his pokedex while he was sitting outside.

Eventually the group of girls would dissipate and Leaf would leave to go somewhere. Home, he presumed, and she would stalk off and he'd follow after her, careful to make sure she didn't see him behind her, but often times, she'd turn a corner and the second after that, disappear.

Once though, Green saw her make her way into Red's house, opening the door without knocking like she had the ability to walk in and out of there like she pleased.

That told Green that she was more than just a visitor to Red's house.

Besides, that night, she never left Red's house.

At least, not before two in the morning when he had enough of watching the door of his rival.

**cause everybody else knows that theyre taking tonight**

And it wasn't the last time Green found Leaf going into Red's house.

It seemed she was going there more and more frequently now.

Finally, Green decided to set himself up to get the opportunity to ask Red straight up what the hell was going on between the whore and the bastard.

And Green was expecting his prediction being explained back to him. Green couldn't be wrong: there was no other explanation for Leaf to be going into Red's house for nights.

She was a whore. He was a bastard.

Of course they were laying each other.

The only reason why that bothered Green was because Red was such an asshole, and Green couldn't understand why he couldn't be so easily laid if Red could. It didn't make sense. Then again, Leaf was just a whore, so that could explain a lot.

Besides, Leaf _had _felt Green up before, that first day she met him.

She was easy, he concluded.

He didn't let the 'and' between Red and Leaf bother him again.

**but i just wanna play it right**

He caught Red walking past him again.

"Yo," Green called.

Red, as usual,—and as Green expected—ignored him.

"Dude."

Green reached out for Red's arm. Something happened and Red flicked his arm away from Green, not letting Green come even close to making contact.

It got Red's attention though, and Red looked at Green in question.

Today, Red's glare wasn't condescending though. Today, it was a smug.

This reaffirmed Green's suspicions that Red was getting down with Leaf. Green kept his lips from curling up in disgust. First, because the two people he hated the most were now together. Second, because Green had only originally wanted to figure Leaf's façade out, thinking that his problems with Red would be set aside for later (but what irony). But he had tucked in with his disgust some kind of a sick victory because those two were just perfect for each other, and he hoped that both would later be damaged by the other later on in the relationship, even if it was just an STD.

"What's Leaf doing at your place all the time now?"

Red's eyebrows raised and he seemed to be amused. The stone face suddenly lifted, in mockery of Green. Red spoke.

The last time Red had opened his mouth in response to Green was after Red had beat Green's pokémon.

And now: "What, jealous?"

Green threw up a middle finger. "I can do better."

**we we're gonna get there tonight**

Green figured that Red and Leaf were not really having sex with each other.

Red was too much of a bastard to get anything. Leaf was too dirty to be able to take anymore.

Red was just bluffing. Green knew him better.

After all, Red had pushed him down after Green had went back to help him up.

It was in his best to go and investigate Leaf going into Red's home on his own.

So once Leaf shut the door behind her, Green snuck over to Red's backyard.

He was being stupid. This was being stupid.

But when was he ever wrong? His logic was undeniable: Leaf and Red were probably just showing off their pokémon or something. They couldn't have been fucking; it wouldn't have worked out.

Green hesitated before pulling himself up onto Red's balcony on the second floor, which Green reached by stepping over the verandah that hung over Red's back porch.

Was there a point for him to be going this far to prove that Leaf and Red were not in any kind of relationship whatsoever? Was he getting a bit caught up in trying to prove himself right or—

Nope, Green realized, reminding himself that he was trying to uncover the dirt under Leaf's skin anyway.

Two birds knocked down with one stone. Red was a bluffer; Leaf was hiding something.

Green swung his lean body onto the metal balcony, a soft thud from his sneakers. He pressed himself up against the part of the balcony that couldn't be seen through the large window for a moment, in case Red heard something outside his window.

Nothing however, and Green quickly deduced that this meant Red was not in his room. Because Red would have _had _to heard something land on his balcony if he was in his room. And Red would have _had _to look out his room if he heard something land on his balcony if he was in room.

Neither events happened, so Green's assumptions were completely justified.

Green also happened to know that Red didn't leave his balcony window locked.

Why? Green didn't know why Red didn't leave his window locked.

And why did Green know this? Green just happened to know. That was all.

Whatever the case, Green slid the balcony window of Red's room open to a topless Leaf.

Oh no.

Green did _not _calculate for that possibility.

"Red?" Green shrieked. "What the fuck—"

But Green's words were caught in his mouth and he choked on them.

Leaf stepped towards Green, red eyes locking on Green's wide eyed stares of utter disbelief. She pulled at her luscious brown hair, whipping it off, exposing short black hair. Leaf smoothly wiped lip gloss off her lips to reveal thin firm lips while he giggled and asked, in a high voice, "Surprised?"

Green was speechless.

"It's only a bit rude to stare," Red said, heavy with sarcasm, as if everything was all normal. He fitted a black shirt and red vest over his bare chest, and pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans before pulling down a red miniskirt.

"What…" Green managed to say. "What the fuck."

Red continued to straighten himself together, slapping on two black wristbands and setting the red one aside. He picked up all of Leaf's clothing and threw it into a messy pile in his closet before setting a red cap onto his head.

"Why," Green demanded.

"I was bored," Red admitted, shrugging.

"What the fuck," Green repeated.

"I thought it was funny shit."

"This…" Green struggled to find the words. He shuddered when he remembered how Leaf had run her hands down his chest. "This is crazy shit."

"I thought it was fun."

"What the hell?" Green exclaimed, outraged. "I can't believe you, asshole!"

Red smirked. "Oh but you did just before coming here."

"Was this all just to screw with me?"

"Perhaps."

Green felt his mouth curl up like he had drunken spoiled milk. "That's sick."

Red shrugged again. Green wanted to punch him.

"What was the _reasoning _behind all this?"

"No real reason. I guess I just wanted to play a joke on you."

"Does anyone else…know?"

"Nope," Red said flippantly. Another smirk:

"You can keep Leaf all to yourself."

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><p><strong>I think that comes close to the strangest piece of writing I have ever written.<strong>

**Anyways, comments? critiques? criticism? I'd appreciate it all!**

**Thanks for reading! This was a super o_O piece!**

**thir13enth**


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